I do… Secretly!

So Josh and I are thinking seriously about eloping…

Why? Well, I don’t really have the family set up for a wedding to really work. Dad might not show up, much less be depended on for walking me down the aisle, my sister (maid of honour) also threatens not to come, generally makes me cry alot and probably will on the day too. My mum is fabulous, but I think we’ll both be secretly sad / stressed on the day because of the aforementioned family members.

Josh has a great family who will understand if we elope instead of forcing something that I just don’t fit into.

Upshot of eloping? An extra $15k to go travelling with! Instead of waiting six months post wedding to travel we can start our trip with a sweet ceremony in the Maldives and then just keep going!

Downsides? Not having my friends or mum there… Plus I’m not sure if the marriage will be legally recognised in Australia, and Josh will miss out on having his family there too.

These are the reasons it’s something we are thinking seriously about it before deciding.

I want a special day but I’m just not sure the whole wedding thing is going to work for me. Luckily we’ve canvassed the idea with mum and the in-laws and they’re all supportive of the idea – yay!

What do you think?


About angelenefay

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15 Responses to I do… Secretly!

  1. Honestly I think it is a great idea. The day is about you and Josh. You don't want to spend it worrying about other people. Those most important to you will understand if you take the time to explain, and you can still have a party! I really think the money would be so much better spent on an amazing adventure with your husband, so many amazing memories and stories. Rather than one day that has the potential to be a disaster. My cousins did it, and while a couple of people may have have been a little hurt, they got over it, and accepted it wasn't about them, it was logistical and practical and just made more sense. Tell me to bugger off if you like haha, but just follow your heart, and do whatever will make you both happy. Gaby xoxo

  2. Kirsty says:

    What about a courthouse ceremony in aus and going out to lunch ( so family doesn't miss out) and then travelling? Have a romantic wedding with the two of you on your travels – shouldn't cost much more…..? But hey, I'm all for eloping šŸ™‚

  3. Ange says:

    Courthouse just doesn't scream 'special' to me the way that eloping does :)My mum is actually OK with the idea as are the in-laws – we thought we'd have a big going away bash for friends and family (the 40 wedding guests we'd picked) and then send them photos from our travels (idea is to take pics in our wedding clothes around the world to make up our album) and then have another welcome home party when we're back and put all the pics up on a projector or something…

  4. Angela says:

    DO IT!! I did and it was the best thing we could of done. It was such a special day and we've never regretted it. We just had a small party for friends and family once we got back. šŸ˜€

  5. Michelle says:

    My SIL eloped in Paris, and sent us all b+w postacards of them kissing in front of the eiffel tower. Then they had a gorgeous big family breakfast at the bather's pavillion when they got back, and a big cut-the-cake with lots of champers party for everyone they knew. Really was lots of fabulous. I'd do the same myself.Travelling is a much better way of spending the dough! You'll figure out something to be able to share part of this special time with family and friends.

  6. That your Mum & Josh's family are supportive is a great start!All the best in whatever you plan to do. And what, when, where… as long as it's you & Josh, committing to each other for the rest of forever, the other details won't seem such a big deal šŸ™‚

  7. You could do what Alana's cousin? (and other's I've heard of) did – invite everyone around for a BBQ or a party… and SURPRISE! It's your wedding!! :DDo that simply with a celebrant?Just a thought šŸ™‚ But you've got to do what your heart tells you – when you look back on your wedding in 20 years, you don't want to have any regrets šŸ˜€

  8. Ange says:

    Thanks guys!I still think eloping is v. romantic and a sweet story to tell our kids – and a kooky wedding album too!

  9. Cloud says:

    Just run away & get married Ange! You can always sign all the 'legal' papers either before you go away or as soon as you get back if you are worried about whether it will be official here in Australia.You may even be able to get the official stuff done at an Aussie embassy in your country of choice :)If you elope, can your Mum & maybe Josh's parents make it to where you do it & they can be your witnesses? Everyone else can just get stuffed!People that love you & Josh won't care if you elope – they will be happy for you to do something so romantic ā™„ and can celebrate with you when you get home.DO IT ANGE!!!!

  10. Jo (ruby-jo) says:

    Eloping sounds like so much fun. How about eloping and taking your mum and Josh's family with you. You could have the ceremony with them and then continue on with your travels. In the end you should really do what makes you and Josh happy.

  11. melanie says:

    Along the line of a couple of the other suggestions, mine is to get married by a celebrant here, with just your mum and Josh's family – maybe even at the airport! Then take off and have as many more ceremonies in as many more countries as you can! :DFollowed by the big party and the slideshow when you get back, of course šŸ™‚

  12. Nate and I have thought about this … it would be oh so much easier. And cheaper. I mentioned it to Nate's parents (as a joke) and they were not impressed!!But we decided that we wanted to celebrate with our family & friends. But we're doing it our way. I'm not getting a big fluffy white dress, we're not getting limos, or throwing a bouquet, and a number of other things. It will be a simple ceremony by the water followed by a laid back reception at a restaurant.I'm sure you'll know what feels right for you guys šŸ™‚

  13. Ali Boyd says:

    It's the marriage, not the wedding that is the most treasurable. Whatever you decide to do together will be romantic xo

  14. TigerWings says:

    Go for it Ange! I thought about it at the time aswell but in the end I cut the guest list from approx. 100 to 35 and I am still so glad that I did. It is a very emotional day as it is and I didn't want to be worrying about other people. It is about you and Josh. Suggestion though. Why don't you do it with your Mum and Josh's parents and forget everyone else?! That way you have the best of both worlds. Just a thought.Good luck with it all. Jacks xxx

  15. helena says:

    I think eloping is fun:) Rich and I thought about it too but then the wedding also meant alot to his parents and my parents. So in the end we had a very simple ceremony together. Both families and a handful of friends. And it doesn't have to be expensive either. Ours cost very little and everything was handmade. And I'm sure you know i got my wedding dress from CUE! heheI think at the time my head was exploding and i thought weddings were shit, and I hated all the planning but then when the day arrived and it went by so quick. I realised how much fun it really was being with my friends and family. And I feel a bit sad that all the planning is over, I'll never have that chance of planning a wedding again šŸ˜›

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